Thursday, 31 August 2006
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i knew sth was wrong when i hanged up the phone last night. i more or less knew what was the reason but i dun know how to defend myself (and since i got nth much to defend really) and so i decided to just agree to end the call. if i really say i forgot i was supposed to meet u, prob u would just think that i never put u in my mind, so forget that. but thats really the reason. i can only say the reason that i agreed to meeting my colleagues instead of u was becos its much harder to meet them for a k session den meeting u. we have sang so many times alr... isnt it just fair for me to sing again with my colleagues for a second time? as much as i would like to meet u for a meal, but i cant find a time that we can even meet in sch. i do admit that i shouldnt hav forgot that im supposed to meet u 1st rather den my colleagues. if im going to dig out my explanation again as "i cant find time now becos of my job" u wouldnt wanna accept it again right? but thats the truth... i have alr committed myself to this job, there's no way that i can change anyth. if something must be at fault, its all my fault ok?? also all my job's fault can??!! im desperate for money to exchange my frenship for money and more more money can!! i got no time to entertain u all!!! I wanna earn big big bucks!
i didnt wanna say this but i kept having this uneasy and sad feeling these while, when i always hear u having a great time with that another fren... u think i really dun wanna join u all meh? u all forever after sch have a great time eating and shopping lah... and i cant seems to fit in at all now. as if all of a sudden, im not your fren at all like that. as if she is your only fren not me... as if time had gone back to the days when im the one who always eats and chats with u everyday (but that fren's no longer me). u really think i dun wanna have fun with u all? i dun feel good abt all this at all... im not neglecting watsoever...im not the kind of person who can have lots of things to share with others everyday and so i dun call u that often. im not the kind of person who can nag and nag, talk and talk to u yet talk abt the same thing over and over again...
this week was the only exception week that u are free, and it just happened that my colleagues organised a last min k session since everyone could make it, so i just decided to agreee to go. its just that simple. i told u that i haven confirm that im free on thur in the 1st place, so at the very least i didnt pang seh u... all of us needs to make a choice sometimes right (though we often wan to have the best of both worlds)? i think im reasonable to my colleagues to give them this opportunity to organise a k session. i know we often hear this phrase call first-come-first-serve, but for this time round, pls just forgive me...
im not someone with double-standards. its just a OTC (one-time-choice).
since u dun wan my apology now, so i wouldnt do it now. hopefully your anger will be gone soon.
ps: to "that another fren": everyth has nth to do with u, dun worry.
9:21:00 pm;
